In a small souvenir shop on a Greek island, you spin the wire rack and postcards flicker past in a blur of Aegean blues and chalky whites. You take your time before choosing: an image of mouth-watering local dishes for a foodie friend, a vibrant underwater scene for a scuba-loving cousin. After a day of sightseeing, you sit at a cafe table, splay the postcards out and smile as you think about who they’re for. In choosing what to write, you gently notice what you’re thankful for and who you’re grateful to share it with back home.
This holiday tradition is a far cry from selfies posted from the airport lounge or the perfect sunset shared to Instagram. Writing postcards asks something different of you. It slows you down. From the simple act of choosing the right card and pausing to write it, to the anticipation of your loved one smiling when it arrives, taking the time to send a postcard encourages presence, intention and reflection.
Saw this and thought of you
In a world of instant messages and disappearing Stories, the classic holiday postcard has almost vanished. According to a 2023 survey by InsureandGo, only 18 per cent of people still send a postcard home each time they travel, with millennials being the generation sending the most.
But sending a personal handwritten missive to a friend is a way to let them know that you’re thinking of them, even when you’re busy on far-flung adventures in beautiful places. ‘When we write to one person, it is private by nature, which makes it intimate and sacred,’ says Alana Rhodes, a counsellor based in Noosa, Australia. Taking the time to write a message and post it from afar is also a way to express gratitude for the other person, which can reinforce the mutual bond of trust and understanding between friends. ‘Anything handmade or handwritten shows somebody that you have taken the time away from distractions and prioritised speaking from your heart, sharing a message,’ says Alana. ‘It’s a way of saying, “I care, I thought of you and I felt appreciative.”’
When you’re travelling and away from your usual routine, writing a postcard can also be a way to take stock, reflect, observe your environment and anchor yourself in the now. ‘When you take moments to write, you become immediately present to your experience in a deeper way,’ says Alana. ‘Presence regulates your nervous system and shows your body you are safe, which creates grounding.’
Instagram vs reality
While posting travel updates on social media has become the go-to, sending postcards offers a different, and arguably more authentic, way to connect. Audrey Tang is a psychologist and chartered member of the British Psychological Society. ‘When you send something to someone individually, you’re not asking them to “like” you,’ says Audrey. ‘What you’re actually telling them is, “I’m thinking of you.” Whereas [social media] is, “Please validate me, please like me.” It’s a bit egocentric.’
While there is nothing wrong with posting your holiday highlights online, doing it purely for likes and external validation can sometimes feel performative rather than being truly present. ‘Performative is just that,’ explains Audrey, ‘it’s not real, it’s not connected and it’s not necessarily healthy. Also, it can become exhausting, as you worry more about what others who are not there will think, rather than what you are experiencing in the moment.’
Instead of crafting a caption for many, words on a postcard are designed with one specific person in mind. It can be more personal, perhaps referencing memories or in-jokes, which can help strengthen relationships on a deeper level. ‘If I’m writing a letter or text to somebody, I’m thinking of them specifically and that shared history that we have, and that is much more bonding,’ says Audrey.
Postcards are also a low-pressure way to share holiday memories with others, and to reflect on them yourself. You don’t need to focus on the perfect shot, pose, caption or filter; they’re not designed for a wide audience or for public approval.
Pen, paper and imperfections
While you may be more used to sending and receiving messages as text on a screen, seeing someone’s handwriting on a postcard can spark feelings of connection too. ‘It’s lovely if you get a text,’ says Audrey, ‘but the sight of someone’s physical handwriting can actually give you an oxytocin hit, which is the bonding hormone, and makes you feel closer to them.’
One study found that handwritten type styles are often perceived as warmer and friendlier than typed text, partly because their small inconsistencies signal time, effort and personality – cues that people subconsciously read as care and intimacy.
A handwritten postcard will probably have imperfections, perhaps a smudge where the ink wasn’t quite dry when you picked it up, words crossed out or a sign-off with wobbly XOs. ‘When you leave in those imperfections – maybe you changed your mind and crossed something out, or perhaps you were in a rush when you wrote it – at the end of the day you still did it, and you didn’t mind that they received it in that way,’ says Audrey. ‘That says quite a lot as well. You feel safe enough with that person that you know they’re not going to judge you, and that’s really special too.’
And while many people don’t send postcards, almost everyone loves receiving them. The research found that 41 per cent of people said that they would like to receive postcards more often, citing ‘happy’, ‘remembered’ and ‘loved’ as emotions most frequently experienced upon receiving one.
Someone taking time out of their busy trip to send you a note reflects an extra layer of love and care. ‘Receiving it, you feel the value that someone’s put on you,’ says Audrey. ‘[It says] “not only did I think of you while I was away, but you’re worthy enough for me to spend that extra time and money on.”’
The reality of postcards taking weeks or sometimes longer to arrive at their destination can serve as a reminder that connection doesn’t need to be immediate to be impactful.
Inspiring awe
Next time you’re on a trip, then, why not try taking time to write a postcard to a friend? If you’re staying at a hotel, the concierge may be able to advise you on the best way to send it. You can usually purchase international stamps at a local post office, supermarket, newsagent or tourist information centre.
When writing the postcard, the key is not to put too much pressure on yourself. Even a short ‘thinking of you’ message will mean a lot to the right person. But if you want to add a little extra, be inspired by going on what Audrey calls a wonder walk. Just stroll, slow down and observe; put your phone away to be sure you are fully present. Actively stop at something that brings you a sense of joy, peace, surprise or love.
‘For me, it’s looking at buildings, the architecture and the design that goes into them that inspires me,’ says Audrey. ‘It reminds me how amazing humans are, and that already gives me something to write about.’ Feeling awe can help to put life and its problems into perspective, whether it’s gazing at a vast ocean or a sky full of stars.
‘Doing the wonder walk just for yourself is a great way of really seeing your surroundings,’ says Audrey. ‘You might stop at the thing that you feel love for, and that’s the thing that inspires you to write something on a postcard.’
From choosing the right image to finding the right words, the simple act of sending a holiday postcard can become a mindful practice in presence, gratitude and connection.
Creating a mindful postcard ritual
Sending postcards needn’t feel like holiday admin. Here’s how to make it a reflective moment:
- Be intentional when selecting postcards, don’t just grab the first ones you see. Slow down and consider who the card is for and what they’d love. If they’re an animal-lover, opt for an image of local wildlife. If your friend makes you laugh, pick one with a silly joke. Follow curiosity over perfection.
- Find somewhere comfortable to sit, like a cafe table, a park bench or the edge of a fountain. Take a few breaths and reflect on what you saw, heard, felt, tasted or smelled that day.
- When crafting your message, reflect on your relationship with the recipient and make it personal. ‘Perhaps write a little message about why you thought of them, or why you wanted to send them a postcard,’ says Alana. ‘Maybe you knew the reader would have loved the flavour of ice cream you ate, or your experience during the day reminded you of a time or a memory that you shared together.’
- Before you drop your postcard into the post box (remember to stick on a stamp!), take a second. Notice the feeling of letting it go. You don’t know when (or even if) it will arrive. Embrace uncertainty as part of the ritual.
- Remember, you don’t need to go away on holiday to send postcards. Select a postcard from your home town and send it to a friend or pen pal who lives elsewhere.
- Instead of buying another mass-produced keyring or fridge magnet, pick out a postcard to write and send home to ‘future you’. When it arrives after the trip has ended, it becomes a gentle bridge back to that holiday version of you: relaxed, sun-warmed or city-dazed.
Follow Jo Jukes on Instagram @what_joey_did_next
Find Alana Rhodes at alanagrace.com.au and on Instagram @alanagracecounselling. Find Audrey Tang at draudreyt.com and on Instagram @draudreyt