‘Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?’
‘Supposing it didn’t,’ said Pooh after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this. – AA Milne
Like the cautious Piglet, people are wired to anticipate problems – the brain is developed to raise the alert on potential threats. As a result, it’s natural when worst-case scenarios come to the fore and the focus is on the negative. In fact, rather than starting out with the belief that things will go well, you might find yourself invariably fast-forwarding to the future, imagining myriad things that could disrupt your plans or lead to full-blown disaster.
While this kind of default pattern of thinking can be adaptive – encouraging you to make changes and mitigate risks – it can also become unhelpful. If you’re more prone to it than others, it can be beneficial to practise more balanced thinking, to shift the pattern, potentially ease anxieties and stop worries from holding you back.
Why worry?
The inclination to worry often serves the function of self-protection. As Sophie Jones, a clinical psychologist from Melbourne, Australia, points out: ‘Worrying helps us identify possible risks and prepare for a situation, which makes a lot of sense, particularly from an evolutionary perspective – we are all here today because our ancestors managed risk. They made sure they had food and shelter, and they didn’t do things that may have seen them eaten by a wild animal.’
But life is rarely without any risks, and balance is important. If your threat detector is highly sensitive and gets activated in the presence of imagined threats – for example, worries around judgment or fear of failure – rather than those that are reality-based, it’s not fulfilling its function.
Self-perpetuating cycle
Sophie says that when you become hyper-focused on potential risks, it can lead to feeling overwhelmed and result in paralysing fear. These thoughts can become all-consuming, which means you might forget to consider that alternative outcomes are also possible. Anxiety can lead you to overestimate the likelihood of potential threats, while simultaneously underestimating your ability to cope, which can feed into a cycle of persistent worry.
You might also get hooked on worrying because, in some way, it can provide a sense of control in a world full of uncertainty. In this context, running through all the things that might go wrong can be a source of comfort, despite the fact it feels unpleasant. Avoidance can also come into play. After all, when the focus is only on what could go wrong, it can be hard to feel motivated to put plans into action, let alone see them through to the end. But while this provides short-term relief from anxiety, says Sophie, it also reinforces worries and fears, leading to missed opportunities – from social catch-ups with friends to skirting travel adventures or not applying for a new job.
Is there space for other possibilities?
The good news is that the habit of worry can be unlearned and, with patience and practice, a more balanced approach can come into view. ‘Our brains are incredible,’ says Sophie. ‘They continue to… create new neural pathways all the time, so we can always learn new ways of doing things. There’s a saying I’m fond of and it definitely applies here: “Where attention goes, energy flows.”’
Given that the human mind is often focused on avoiding risk, it takes conscious effort to consider a positive or, at least, neutral outcome. Sophie says: ‘If we keep putting all our attention and energy into what might go wrong, this is where our focus will remain. To make change, we need to actively shift our attention to other things and allow our energy to flow in that direction.’
While it’s possible that whatever you’re worrying about might still happen, there’s also the counter-possibility that it won’t. (And if it does, the chances are you could cope.) ‘Our brains are excellent at using our imagination to help us [visualise] all of the bad things that may happen, particularly in new or novel situations, or when something is important to us,’ says Sophie. ‘However, this also means that we can use our imagination to consider the other side of the coin: “What if it doesn’t happen?” and “What if it goes well?”’
Change in outlook
It’s important to remember that the goal isn’t to think only about the positive, it’s to view things in a realistic and balanced way. Sophie suggests one way to do this is to put pen to paper and list all the positive things that could happen in a particular situation.
Learning new ways of thinking is often challenging. As with a new language, it’s a skill that demands effort to learn and practise, so it’s important to be gentle with yourself as you retune your thoughts. But there are benefits to developing a more balanced mindset, including keeping worries in check and supporting a more open approach to life. These shifts might also encourage behavioural changes that align more closely with your life goals and values.
So, the next time your mind is flagging up what could go wrong, stop right there. Take a beat and turn it around. Ask instead: what could go right?
Kaitlin is a clinical psychologist from Melbourne, Australia, who enjoys supporting people on their paths to healing. To find out more about her work, visit spacetobloom.com.au or follow her on Instagram @spacetobloomaus
Find out more about Sophie at nourishnurturethrive.com.au
Ways to cultivate more balanced thinking
Try exploring the questions below when assessing a situation or challenge
- What’s the worst that could happen? How likely is it that this might occur?
- What’s the best thing that could happen?
- When I’ve encountered a situation like this before, what’s happened?
- What would I say to a friend in this situation?
- On the occasions when worries weren’t borne out, how did it feel?
- If it’s possible that I’m having this worry out of habit, what might be a more neutral thought?